I’m going 2 Die
I can feel it, like 2023.
My heart yearns to be struck open, and my throat is bleeding; It’s from my chest.
Now, I don’t know when it’s going to happen, but my only option is to get ready.
So I’ll be a witness of my own experience, I’ll embrace love and I’ll stick to peace.
Even though I will surrender to the tension, I will still speak my truth. I’m not being selfish, I’ve been so self-less. Giddy up, it’s time to be assertive.
Because I owe it to myself, I feel it in my bones,
my heart is congested with glue, when all I had to do was let it hurt and heal.
my body aches and my limbs are tired, my breathing hurts, my strength is sore.
Something’s changing and I look like metamorphosis, my semblance is different from who I used to look like.
I know myself, but I’ve been showing up in new ways.
The shape I’m taking, I don’t know, inflamed tissue from my body’s containment.
I’m not a pillar yet, but I guess one day I will be.
Still my cough brings me release and also pain.
I wish the air was purer, I wish less of us vaped, I don’t for a while, but I still wish we weren’t predated through our very own survival necessities.
I am going 2 die.
Not later and not sooner.
Only when my time is right.
I’m letting go but I’m still connected, I just don’t know where I resonate the most.
The only way I know to speak up is by words.
Trying to breathe like it’s not hard to remain in a place that is driving everyone crazy, but again, I’m just here.
No martyr and no savior.
Power comes from letting go of control, my honesty is not cynical, but there’s no much you can do outside if you don’t first handle yourself.
So, I’m going 2 Die, but that’s not more than a fact.
I still don’t know when, I just know my body is always at a race with time.
But, there’s no rush.
Time is beauty when you learn to enjoy the ride.
The train of life has a final destination, we just don’t know which one is ours.
Connection allows mutual witnessing, so there’s no use in restricting where you’re called to be.
Still, hold and let it go.
Pleasure or disappointment, discomfort or bliss, it’s all temporary and a state of feeling.
Sensations, are phenomena?
Our mind experiences images.
Andrea said, “the projector doesn’t change regardless of the movie that it plays.”
Yogi or Awakening Guru…
Wisdom lives in our unity, wholeness, not separate and not dual.
I’m going 2 Die.
Here comes Tinina.
A wise feline.
A daughter.
Her gaze reminds me of happiness, fleeting but existing.
Mine, if she’ll have me.
And so I must stay alive, while I can for what it’s worth.
For I’m the glue, the provider, the nurturer of my legacy, a life force in the world, for my community and for my soul.
For my daughter, and for my sisters, for my family and my siblings, for my own child within, for the lover that sees me, for the kids that make up this Earth, for the elders that are no longer physical in this world. For my neighbors and for my parents, for the people I care for, and for those I cannot stand when I’m having a bad day.
All who teach me that God exists in them, and that God exists in me. All who have a story, an origin, a purpose, and their own path.
¿Who cares anyway?
How long I stand them and how much I’ll bear. How long it’ll take and the wrinkles that will come. Whether I complain or whether I live it up. If I shall go, then I shall be.
Embrace it for a second, versus the lifetime energy that outlives mine.
Aged and gravitated.
I’m going 2 Die, one day.
Either way.