¿How can awareness leave me so blind?
It is sick and flooded.
Writing about how easily I spot my faults.
Pacifying my aggressions when I quickly rationalize.
People say there is power in knowing, but they forget the part where one has to apply.
I try to give it room to breathe,
covering it up in band aids,
fleeing the scene so it is abandoned.
Poor child, without much guidance.
¿Did nobody sit with your discomfort before?
Seems like everyone trusted your child-like maturity to figure it out.
Eventually, the method came to life.
There is a pull, there is a push.
Self-sufficient, deeply sentient.
Wants to reveal immense independence,
crumbles at night where there is no one to lay with.
Coping mechanisms,
adultesque and not quite innocent.
Holds up a mirror to her own wounding,
but maybe the light is making it sizzle.
It might be a bit twisted, I think there is a loss.
Pretending to hold it above water.
The threshold is skewed cuz she knows how to blend it.
Pretending it is mild but the severance is weighting.
Exhausting my ways,
forgiving the bearers.
A trap that keeps both of us caged.
Maybe it changes.
Who holds the power and who manipulates it.
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