Where am I coming from? 
Where do I go? 
I exist in this world, to experience the infinity of the universe,
To experience belonging and unity, to remember that there’s a beginning and end and it always looks the same.
The cycle of rebirth and death.
I vow to it and I accept it as the wholeness of life.
Allowing myself to experience what it’s like to be a humanbeing with inner worlds and universes.
Unable to escape the reality of my connection to the earth, even when it’s burning, especially so, when it is burning.
I lay down with the persistent thought that I need to fix myself, wash my face, look clean, get sharp; eat clean, breathe purely, and feed my soul properly, minding my consumption. Forgetting I am the dirt- that lays beneath the flowers as fertilizer for what’s next, the same but rearranged set of particles found on earth, a piece of the bigger mothering planet that carries me in her womb.
I cannot be more untouched than she, picture perfect, no odor, no flaws, no scars, and no aging. Without a sign of skin texture, no mountains and no hills, without the fluidity of minerals and water and blood and chemicals, without the folds and the bags and the rolls and the waves, without the clear livelihood of mortality.